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Hi, it's Mother's day! this year, i am not at home, so i didn't do or plan anything special for ibu. Probably because for me, everyday is mother's or father's or siblings' day. So, everyday is a special day. Yeah, yeah, i know, cliche. But it is true. Plus, i wouldn't be able to say anything coz i would be to choke up and ended up crying, which is what i hate. So, yeah. Growing up, i spent 5 years at a boarding school, Johor. This made me felt closer to friends rather than my own family because i spent more time there than at my own house. Despite that, we still remained a close knitted family. However, living at a boarding school taught me a lot. One of them is to appreciate my family. When i was 5-12 years old, i was actually (still is) a rebellious child. When i felt slighted, wronged or insulted, i would argue about it till i felt satisfied. I can and would argue with older people, using my loud voice, which is considered rude in Malay custom. And in M...

in Malay, kayu manis means cinnamon stick. however, in my family, kayu manis is the name of our 2-month-old African Pygmy hedgehog. yes, her name is kayu manis @ cinnamon stick. hahaha ;P it's probably because she's a salt and peper with a hint of brown.  so, the first name that comes in mind is kayu manis.  ayah bought her from MAHA with Nani. ( Malaysian Agriculture, Horticulture & Agrotourism Show) MAHA is a place where people from all over Malaysia comes to promote their business and others to come, see and buy things.  so this is where ayah bought her. they even bought the complete set: the cage, the food, the water bottle and the bedding. although, only after i explained it they understood that hedgehog is not suitable with wood bedding,  so i had to buy cat's paper bedding. i think they were influenced from Mr. I's hedgehog, Sonic. well, once or twice i had to bring and take care of Sonic during the holidays.. becaus...

salam, this is from the bottom of my heart, as a young adult of 22, holding the responsibilities of another 4 younger siblings is something heavy. yes, i do know there are people out there who had the same responsibility far younger than my age, but truth be told, i know i can do it but i am not sure if i can go on with it. adding on with the missing MH370 case, juz gives me more reason of telling my parent not to go.. but how could i do it, this is something they have been dreaming since i was young enough to understand the meaning of doing umrah or hajj.. i am sorry, as much as i know it is going to be ok,  this worry isn't something i could shed. how could i take care of my siblings, all below 17 and the youngest is 7? i know that i should stop worrying because i can't do anything. but knowing the fact doesn't make me worry any less. even now, i am trying to be brave, trying to let them go, trying not to cry, trying not to be scared...

this is a lesson i learnt, one day,  my sister whatsapp me a link, asking me to check it out.  so, i did.  it turned out an fb page selling t-shirt, the famous RunningMan t-shirt. she asked me to order the t-shirt for her friends and her too so, i did.  in fact, i intended to make the t-shirt as her birthday presents. before the payment, i did called the person in charge, En. Faizal a few times. confirming about whether the promotion is still on, the prices and whatnot, he said, the t-shirt would be arrived on 1st Jan 2014 hearing that, i consulted with my sister and she said yes.  so, on 17th Feb 2013,  i made last confirmation from my sister, bank- in the money, filled up the form and send the sms confirming that i ordered 17 pieces. costing RM510.  however, promise was just a promise. to this exact date (10 Feb), i still didn't receive any t-shirts. i tried calling so many times, but the calls were ...

hi all~ last friday was a holiday, so ayah decided to visit atok at Pontian. along the way, we stopped at ledang waterfall. hehe~  my other family members were so excited.  esp fawwaz when he knew we are going to the waterfall, he wore his swimming shorts n packed his own clothes. though ibu checked his packed clothes to make sure he didn't bring something torn or senteng.  we arrived there around 2.54ish. that's because ayah n the boys had to solat jumaat. fawwaz and amri were so excited when we reached the waterfall, they left us (ibu, ayah, fizi, nani n me) behind.  duhhh =.='  we were lucky coz our spot wasn't taken.  so, after putting the changes down,  they went to swim.  however, ayah had another idea. you see, at 4 am, he woke up and marinate a section (not sure the correct term) of a lamb. yup, people, 4 am.  it seemed he wanted to make kambing bakar there. he eve brought the charcoals, th...

Salam,  jus got back from Klang. attended my cuzin's engagement day. she's the 2nd cuzin that got engaged this year. the first one was Abg Farid.  well, if abg farid is a long-waited event, Jie's is a quite shocking and spontaneous one.  y? because she's my age n she surpassed her own brother, a. afiq n few older cuzins.  but still, congratulations, Jie.  you are sooooo pretty yesterday. i couldn't it was you.  even adiq doesn't believe you are engaged.  hahaha~ however, the downside of attending this kind of wedding is that the aunts and uncles kept on:  1. asking when is my turn? my answer is to wait for another 5 year? or maybe 7? hahaha~ 2. what colour is your engagement day?  my answer:  i haven't really thought about it but i prefer to just skip the engagement n straight do the akad nikah. but well, i still have to discuss this with the would-be groom.  3. when are we (the familie...

kau dah mati. kau dah mati.  kau dah mati. selama aku marah dengan orang, aku masih lagi x pernah anggap orang tu mati. paling kurang pun, aku anggap orang tu x wujud. tapi now, bila aku sebut macam tu, kau memang dah mati dari dalam diari aku.  aku mungkin kena jumpa kau tapi kau tak ada apa - apa pun dengan aku.  sampai hati terbuka. itu pun, kalau hati aku terbuka.  so, yeah.  YOU DIED TODAY.

right now, i am very much afraid. afraid that we will drift apart. what happen while i was away? can't you tell me whatever it is bothering you? can't you tell me what it is you want? we can talk. i am here. always here. but what had happened till it turn this way? please talk. you are still young. and you are still my family despite everything i said. i love you.. talk..  please...

she had arrived. alhamdulillah. after 3 months of semester break, adiq had to go back to cairo again. alhamdulillah,  egypt seemed calm enough, so she had to return to continue her study again. her flight was on Oct 26th, 3 a.m. yep, people. 3 a.m. n no, i am not kidding. luckily, she wasn't alone. there were 2 of her friends,  1 being our adopted sister,  while the other 1 is a guy, whom i suspected is adiq's crush. hahaha~  it was funny looking at him. maybe he was nervous seeing our family. a boisterous family. i hope we didn't scare him.  hehehehe~ right after she entered the boarding door, we headed home. so, adiq, please be careful, stay safe n study smart.  kakak loves you =)

May you have a very meaningful aidiladha~  i went home for this celebration, but since the holiday was just for monday n tuesday, ayah said no need to balik Johor~ oh well, never mind. i'll go home later~ ibu cooked tomato chicken and also sup tulang~ we (the 6 of us), the siblings ate fullheartedly. i don't know why but we acted like we were really hungry =.=' haha~ but that made ibu really happy =) seeing us eating like x cukup food. haha~  anyway, i wish you have a very enjoyable aidiladha =)

x phm, ape yg dh jd? kenapa berubah smpai mcm ni sekali? kalau ya pun dh remaja, xkn sebegitu sekali perubahannya? mungkin pd kau,  kau masih seperti dlu, tp pd org lain yg memndang, kau dh berbeza. mcm ada org lain dlm bdn kau. terpulanglh pd kau, pilihlah jln hidup yg kau mahu. moga itu mampu buat kau gembira.

Dear brothers and sisters, May Allah grant you courage in this time of hardship, May Allah save the children, May Allah grant you Jannah, in sha Allah. bertuahlah mereka yang mati syahid di jalan Allah..

It's funny to hear atok's speech.  My atok is almost 75 years old, So, I cn always hear new unheard off Malay words.. Well, not unheard but old words,  nobody actually used it anymore. For example: 1. Meringkik: laughing like a donkey 2. Siba: couldn't remember what it is 3. Pokah: cut / broke into 2 4. Pohak: tersedak?? (couldn't remember too) 5. Berburas: berbuih Since the words are old ones n x prnh didengari, whenever she used the words, we (the cucu) will laugh~ Juz bcoz it sounds funny. I will remember these words well :-P

Alhamdulillah,  selesai dh wedding K. Ita n A. Dafi, the first wedding in da family for 2013. insyaAllah,  akn ada 1 / 2 lg wedding untuk tahun ni. tarikh n siapa msih tdk diketahui. so tungguuuuuuu hahaha~

alhamdulillah, nani dh makin sembuh!! she discharged ptg td,  around 7 pm. doctor said her blood test result is clean, but her fever haven't broke. so, she still have to rest. thank you, Allah.  next, we have to focus on ayah. he broke his coccyx yesterday, this happened when he fell and landed on his backside while doing an exercise.  physically, he is fine.  but the x-ray was certainly not fine. he have to choose whether to remove it or try to put it back together.  i don't know what his decision will be... insyaAllah, he'll be ok. he's my hero!! =)

semalam, dpt berita.  after a week of fever,  ibu bwk nani pergi klinik,  dr ckp, she wasn't a suspect of denggi / malaria / anything else  jd, doktor suggest pergi KPJ, Seremban.  nani ditahan di wad.  today, doktor ambik sampel darah n buat ujian x-ray.  the result shows that her left lungs was full with mycoplasma  bacteria.  so, kne msuk wad.  her fever turun naik.  bergegas lawat nani as soon as kelas hbes.  she looked really weak.  but the nurse said if she consistently takes her medicine, she be ok!! aminnn~ hopefully, you'll be ok, nani.  syg kau  walau kdg kau annoyed kakak. 

goodbye miming, we love you.. rest in peace... yup,  miing dh x de.. dpt berita ni ptg td,  around 6.30pm from ibu.. ibu x sure either miming hilang / kne mkn with anjing. but for me, since he had been missing for 5 days, i knew he was dead. if you knew him, you would know that he will always come home everyday, and whenever he goes out, he will wait for ibu and my siblings at our front door. so, knowing him and deep in my heart, i can feel that he wasn't with us anymore.. bye miming.. thanx for da happy time you've given to me and the others..

goshhh,  bila dh blek rumah sewa, bru sdar betapa rindunya diri ini trhadap rumah 1 brsama dgn ahli2 rumahnya. rumah 1 as in rumah keluargalah.. rindu dgn adik2 yg brmcm - mcm karenah. sorg dgn kucing, dua org dgn game GTA San Andreas, btol ke eja? xkesahlh sorg lg dgn moto. of cozlah, rindu dgn ibu, ayah + adik sue yg nun jauh pun ada.  padahal, bru 3 minggu x blek.  haa, cuba bygkn org sabah + sarawak??? sbb tulah, kne hargai mse dgn famili.. x kesahlah se'annoying' mne pun ahli keluarga anda, x pyh nk buat aktiviti elaborate sgt mcm nk cuti g korea ke pe ke, cukup skdr borak2 wktu tgk tv. paling kurang, anda berborak.  keluarga ni penting.  kawan, bila2 boleh cari. keluarga, x leh tukar gnti. walau kdg2 bile tgh gduh rse mcm nk tukar je dgn org len. haha~

ohhhh,  rindu miming~~~ tp miming x rndu tuan die langsung. hahaha~ miming memg x prnah rndu pun.  dia lg bahagia duduk kt kg tu. yelah, ada makwe dia,  ada kwn ( anak ayam + lembu + anak kambing )  ada ibu, ada katil yg empuk jgk.  manalah dia nk blek Cheras ni. hahaha~ 

kepada ibu, Ashikin binti Mohd Hashim, SELAMAT HARI LAHIR!!  terima kasih sbb dh jd ibu kakak selama 20 tahun ni, terima kasih sbb dh sayang kakak selama 20 tahun ni, terima kasih untuk segalanya.. doa kakak, ibu trus pnjg umur, trus murah rezeki n diredhai Allah selalu.  kakak syg ibu.  xoxoxo, kakak =)