bicara dari hati

kau dah mati. kau dah mati.  kau dah mati. selama aku marah dengan orang, aku masih lagi x pernah anggap orang tu mati. paling kurang pun, aku anggap orang tu x wujud. tapi now, bila aku sebut macam tu, kau memang dah mati dari dalam diari aku.  aku mungkin kena jumpa kau tapi kau tak ada apa - apa pun dengan aku.  sampai hati terbuka. itu pun, kalau hati aku terbuka.  so, yeah.  YOU DIED TODAY.

I just realised that I am still not ready. 3 years had gone by but I am still not ready. This scares me. I had always dreamed of doing this. I am convinced that I can do it. But now, I don't know. It scares me on how much the future depends on me, us. I am scared that I could not touch them. Or they don't understand what I taught. Or I couldn't inspire them. But right now, I am struggling, really struggling . Really.

welcome back, dear!! thanx for da presents =) I love it~ <3

right now, i am very much afraid. afraid that we will drift apart. what happen while i was away? can't you tell me whatever it is bothering you? can't you tell me what it is you want? we can talk. i am here. always here. but what had happened till it turn this way? please talk. you are still young. and you are still my family despite everything i said. i love you.. talk..  please...

ehem, pergi melancong tu, jgn lpe belikn something untuk sy~ kesiannnnn sy~ kne tinggal sorg kt sini. diulangi, siannnnnnn syyyy~~ *pnjg 3 harkat  hahaha~ x delah,  jz kidding. juz be careful, take care, paling pnting, jaga mata dan hati tu. tkut tertinggal kt sana, ada yg kne langkau laut china selatan untuk ambik balik yg trtinggal tu~ ;P

today marks the start of holidays~ though i have already started the holidays on monday~ *evil smirk so,  lovely people, please take care n stay safe during this school hols, enjoy your holidays, but make sure to fill it with memorable and useful projects. examples: learn to:  cook bake sew gardening cultivate good habits volunteering  youth camp basically anything that will give you new and useful experiences. as for me, i decided to improve my cooking and sewing skills.  plus, practice being a teacher to my siblings. muahaha~ *evil smirk juz kidding, i want to be ready. becoz next sem,  we will start our practicum, and my mentor is a meticulous person that i have had a chance working with. so i wanted to make sure i am ready for it.  but that's another story. for now, let's relax and enjoy our holiday =)

=.= what happened just now was i felt like i was sucked into the world of unknown. really, no kidding. the questions were not normal. they were mutant. mutant questions!! runnnnn for your life!!! * please imagine questions with arms and legs chasing u~ oh well, no use talking bout it. let us worry for the next ones~ writing, please be nice ;)

asmaul husna is also known as names of Allah there are 99 names each with their own meaning and benefits if you recite them hope you can benefit from them~ 1. Ar - Rahman  The All - Merciful  repeat this name 100 times after each fardu (Obligatory) prayer will have good memory, a keen awareness, and be free of a heavy heart. 2. Ar - Rahim The All - Beneficient repeat this name 100 times after each Fajr (Early Morning) prayer will find everyone to be friendly towards him and he will be safe from all worldly calamities. 3. Al-Malik The Absolute Ruler  repeats this name many times every day after the morning prayer. Will become rich by the grace of Allah. 4. Al-Quddus The Pure One The heart of those who repeat this name 100 times each day will be free from anxiety. 5. As-Salam The Source of Peace He who repeats this name 160 time to a sick person, will help him to regain health. He who repeats this name frequently will be safe from all ca

salam 1 Muharram~  in case you are wondering what Muharram is, since Islamic year is counted by lunar year, Muharram is the 1st month in Islam, this month is also the month that is considered sacred to muslims. this is based on surah At - Taubah, verse 36 "Four of them ( Zil-Qadah, Zil-Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab) are sacred." out of the four sacred months, Muharram has been blessed with certain specific virtues:-   The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) said: "The best of fasts besides the month of Ramadhan is the fasting of Allah's month of Muharram." (Muslim) In another Hadeeth, Hazrat Ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu-Anhu) reports: "that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) said: "The one that keeps a fast in the month of Muharram will receive the reward of thirty fasts for each fast (in this sacred month)." (Tabraani) so, we muslims should take the advantage.  anyway, we start our 1s

or also known as Stories for Young Learners, this paper marked the start of my examination. overall,  i don't really satisfied with my answers. i don't know what i wrote. or even i wrote anything at all....  ( -_-) if people said i didn't study, i will yell "NO, i DID study!" because i DID. study, i mean. with my friends. really~ we discussed potential questions and what each of us don't understand.  oh well, que sera sera, what will be, will be. let's just focus on our next subject,  which is kinda hard, because it is all about technology, which is hard for me, for i am ... well, the word nowadays is "NOOB" *shrugging whatever, i will just read and try my best~ pray for me, please?  thank you =)

she had arrived. alhamdulillah. after 3 months of semester break, adiq had to go back to cairo again. alhamdulillah,  egypt seemed calm enough, so she had to return to continue her study again. her flight was on Oct 26th, 3 a.m. yep, people. 3 a.m. n no, i am not kidding. luckily, she wasn't alone. there were 2 of her friends,  1 being our adopted sister,  while the other 1 is a guy, whom i suspected is adiq's crush. hahaha~  it was funny looking at him. maybe he was nervous seeing our family. a boisterous family. i hope we didn't scare him.  hehehehe~ right after she entered the boarding door, we headed home. so, adiq, please be careful, stay safe n study smart.  kakak loves you =)

May you have a very meaningful aidiladha~  i went home for this celebration, but since the holiday was just for monday n tuesday, ayah said no need to balik Johor~ oh well, never mind. i'll go home later~ ibu cooked tomato chicken and also sup tulang~ we (the 6 of us), the siblings ate fullheartedly. i don't know why but we acted like we were really hungry =.=' haha~ but that made ibu really happy =) seeing us eating like x cukup food. haha~  anyway, i wish you have a very enjoyable aidiladha =)

alhamdulillah, just got home from KRS camp. KRS stands for Kadet Remaja Sekolah, maybe if i were to translate it into English, it would be "Teen School Cadet"? hahahahaha~ how funny is that~~ well, only 16 /37 of us went there. but 10 of us, including me, had to go there a day earlier. we had to go there on Friday, while the rest on Saturday. there goes another weekend. throughout the week leading to the camp, i had a very mixed feeling. 1. i was mad. really mad. i only got to know about this on monday n i had already promised ibu to go home. y? because my cousin is having his wedding ceremony. in malay culture, u need to go to any wedding you are invited, cause that is respect to other people. in return, they will come to yours. so, of course i am mad when i had already promised people, but i couldn't go because of this thing. but i had discussed with ibu, i will take a bus straight to johor after i finished the camp. which in the end i didn;t, because i

berapa kali dipujuk hati, "jangan dilayan rasa sakit itu." tapi degilnya hati, tetap juga sakit, dipujuk lagi hati, "hati, jangan berdegil." namun, degilnya hati, tetap dengan rasa sakitnya juga. sudahlah hati, kau seorang yang merasa sakit itu, orang lain tidak tahu, tahan sahajalah, sudah tidak lama, selepas ini, lepaskan segala, terbanglah kau ke langit, biar disana dan jangan turun lagi, tiada siapa yang tahu.

alhamdulillah, kawad dpt no 2. beza markah cme 2.5 je =) nmpk x kehebatan kami, bdk KRS? hahaha~ riak plak dh. tp memg bersyukur, coz tinggal 1 je lg assignment.. lps ni, leh concentrate pd exam plak. harapnya masih boleh naikkn lagi mrkh sewktu exam.. in sha Allah, akn diusahakan. mohon doa~

sakittt~~ langsung x leh gerak. bahagian betis tu keras. n sakit dia tu bagaikan kaki tu dipulas sehabis pulas. last time kne mse prgi PICC tu.. kne mse tdo plak tu. memg menangis. everytime kne pun mst menangis cewek betul =.=' tp serius owhhhh,  memg sakit, Allah, brtahan T.T

ok, kali ni sy nk meluahkan rasa mengenai telefon. umum tahu yg semua org mempunyai telefon bimbit. kadang bkn satu tetapi 2. tak cukup telefon bimbit, beli pula samsung / android tab. tapikan, yg menjadi masalah, bila ada telefon tp x prnh dpt nk dihubungi. perghhh, menyirap rasa hati. kalau x de kredit/ silent phone, kita boleh phm lg. tp ni bkn jenis suka silence phone tp memg susah dihubungi. dhlh susah dihubungi, asyik tkr2 no lg. sedar diri menyusahkan org tp still nk buat jgk. phm x, org call bkn nk sje mengacau, org call sbb ada urusan. kau pergi tkr no, kdg tu dlm 2/3 kali sebulan, menyusahkn org tau. kau buat apa dgn no2 tu? ishhh, geram tau x. sy pun bknnye jnis angkt telefon sgt coz sy slalu silent. tp paling kurang, sy x tukar no bnyk2. tlglh, tlg jgn buat mcm ni. if ada kecemasan, memg nahaslah. ni bkn nk mendoa tp nk jelaskn situasi kecemasan, mcm ibu bapa/ famili laen excident, tp kita unreachable, tau pun lpas org lain kne dtg n inform, x ke meny

kau nk tau apa aku rsa?  aku rse mcm kne tikam dgn blkg.  dgn org yg aku fikir kwn.  seriuslah, aku x phm apa sbnrnya dlm otak kau. aku ckp baik2,  ko bls bahasa kasarkn? aku mnx baik2, ko bls dgn cara kasarkn? boleh jekan kau ckp baik2.  ko fikir aku ni apa?  barang permainan sesuka hati kau? kau nk minx tlg, kau baik2 dgn aku. selain dr masa tu, kau buat taik dgn aku? lps ni, ikutlh apa kau nk. mls dh aku nk lyn.  kau pergi minx dgn wanita pujaan kau tu. yg baik mcm angel tu. aku ni mcm jntan, jd x lyk untuk diminta tlg.  penat je aku pujuk hati selama ni, walau kau lyn atau ckp kasar mcm mne pun, aku boleh nmpk kebaikan kau. tp rsanya cukuplah. smpai sini je aku boleh brtahan.  kau dan aku kosong.  lepas ni, kita dh x de pape.  baik kawan atau apa.

this is the lesson i learnt today: 1. when you are in group, do your share of work. it's a group work. of coz you had to do some of the work. if you are not around to help, ask them about the progress AND OFFER FOR HELP. while it may not be satisfying to those who bend their back to finish the work, they will think that you are responsible enough to ask around. DO NOT ACT STUPID. i wish i can tell what i think to those people buttt i wan't even that hardworking enough, so i lost my guts to say that. 2. it is much better to be known as  a blunt person. i prefer this than bottling up. but in my 8 years working around people, i had come to learnt that society takes too much notice in whatever you do and say. so i started to learn in bottling feelings. i wasn't like that before. i will be blunt because i want people to know that i am being honest (in a way). how i yearn to be like what i used too. right now, i would say it is too late (maybe) to start being blunt again.

you know what?  i don't even know what is wrong here. all i felt is i made a mistake. again. yes, again. i am emo, i am sarcastic.  i am too fierce. i am too flighty. you know what i get from all this?  i get the feeling of being too troublesome.  just like what a person said to me, "sometimes, i am too used of being used, too used of being hurt, too used of being laughed, too used to hold it in, i lost my heart."   (A, 2013)  but, i am not letting this takes me down. i don't care anymore, do whatever you want. say whatever you want. i am me,  i am trying, n  how much tears i shed in the past, am shedding right now or will shed in the future, i will try to be me and happy. we are done here.

hahaha~  yup,  today's topic is going to be about Romeo n Juliet ;) well,  today, around 45 - 52 of us (B.Ed Tesl 2) went to KLPAC to see this performance.  oh wow, it was really nice andddddd shocking~ y? it's a secret. sorry, people. it was too scandalous to be written here.  but,  i swear it was something interesting ;P  went there by car, juz me, shakir, pau2 n val.  supposedly, nanun came too but she had some family problem. overall, i gave 10 / 10 due to the scandalous scenes and the good interpretation of the play, but they might want to change the language.. i can't really understand some of it. anyway, it's nice. =)

seriously, the capital letters show how overwhelm i am right now. how very angry i am right now, and how very sick i am right now. i know i am supposed to calm and redha with everything, but somehow everything mashed up together and create this big giant bubble of problem. you know, i have my own principles. everything i do, did and done for any other people, i will and will always try to think on every single facet. however, this is different if it is regarding my actions. i know other people act differently and you can't expect them to follow you, but can the other people stop and think of other people? you are juz making everything hard. you wanted so much but you want to give so little. what is that man? it doesn't work in this world. Allah, i am so pissed off right now i wanted to scream or at least hurt that other inconsiderate people. i know you are busy but other people are busy too. so, please understand. i know whenever i encounter this problem, my

Jadilah seperti: 1) Siti Aminah Binti Abdul Wahab :Tabah dan kuat emosi 2) Siti Khadijah Binti Khuwailid : Usahawan dermawan 3) Siti Aisyah Binti Abu Bakar : Jelitawan ilmuwan 4) Siti Hajar : Patuh dan tabah 5) Siti Sarah : Sanggup berkorban dan redha 6) Fatimah Az-Zahra binti Muhammad : Tawadhu' dan zuhud 7) Siti Zulaikha : Sayang kerana dan daripada Allah  8) Asma' Binti Abu Bakar : Berani dan bertakwa 9) Asiah Binti Muzahim : Utuh iman 10) Siti Rahmah : Setia yang abadi '' Dan yang paling penting..jadilah seperti Nabi Muhammad s.a.w yang Berakhlak Mulia '

Alhamdulillah, praise Allah, part 1 LGA 3103 @ Stories for Young Learners had finished. went to Sek. Keb. Sri Anggerik. the kids were very nice and quiet. so, i dun really encounter much problem. now,  all i have to do is reflection~ in sha Allah, will try to do it as soon as possible. so, let's focus with the rest:  List of Assignement to be hand in: 1. reflection writing 2. reflection camp 3. reflection stories 4. reflection KH 5. lesson plan ToG 6. SDP file

ya Allah, ya Rabb. mohon beri ruang bernafas. saya tahu, saya masih tidak sesibuk orang yang berjawatan tinggi, dan saya cukup tahu, saya sebenarnya hanya memberi alasan, alasan dari mulut yang bising berkata masa tidak mencukupi, tapi masih ada ruang untuk bergelak. *sila tampar diri sendiri malu rasa diri ini melihat orang yg benar-benar sibuk, yang perlu bergerak sana - sini, dengan kertas kerja, kerja tutorial, dan macam - macam lagi di tangan, telefon di telinga, masih mampu senyum dan menyiap segalanya walau kadang, gugur juga air mata kepenatan. sedang diri ini yang masih punya waktu senggang, cuma mampu beri alasan. x tahu malu! * sila tampar diri sendiri  jadi, sedarkan diri sendiri. jangan terus hanyut. siapkan segala yang penting. amanah terletak tinggi di bahu.

x phm, ape yg dh jd? kenapa berubah smpai mcm ni sekali? kalau ya pun dh remaja, xkn sebegitu sekali perubahannya? mungkin pd kau,  kau masih seperti dlu, tp pd org lain yg memndang, kau dh berbeza. mcm ada org lain dlm bdn kau. terpulanglh pd kau, pilihlah jln hidup yg kau mahu. moga itu mampu buat kau gembira.

Mr. I, Terima kasih sbb sanggup jemput n hntr balik sy. Terima kasih untuk layanan yg baik. Good luck for this week~ Kita jumpe next week =)

Dear brothers and sisters, May Allah grant you courage in this time of hardship, May Allah save the children, May Allah grant you Jannah, in sha Allah. bertuahlah mereka yang mati syahid di jalan Allah..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidulfitri, mohon ampun zahir dan batin, tutur kata, perbuatan, penulisan moga raya ini disambut dengan meriah =) tahun ni, beraya ber7 shj, adiq buat keputusan nk beraya di Mesir.  alhamdulillah,  masih mmpu menghantar berita n memohon maaf dengan adanya whatsapp, wechat. xpelah,  biar adiq ambik pengalaman. sejujurnya,  jeles sbb x berpeluang nk merasa suasana luar negara tp rasanya ada hikmah masih tinggal di Malaysia, dpt tlg ibu n ayah walau x bnyk / sempurna, lgpun, rsenya nk tinggalkn keluarga, hati masih x rela.  hahaha XD jadi,  SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, nk beraya boleh tp assignment jgn lpe =.=

jangan hanya kerana orang kenal kita sudah lama, kita jadikan lesen untuk berperangai sesuka hati kita- is tersentak hati, terfikir otak. ohhh, sedihnya. x marah pd org yg mengucap, cuma rasa terkilan wujud dlm jiwa. sebab rupanya masih lagi di takuk lama, x seperti yg diharap.

hmm,  this is a bad day. something i really hoped won't happened had happened. it wasn't really about me but it did involved me. leh phm x? haha, nk belit-belit cerita pulak. mcm nilah, sy x prnh sangka sy akn trlibat dgn pergaduhan, sy tersepit n sy try to act accordingly. secara jujurnya,  sy marah dgn B. coz kenapa dia nk buat P n F mcm tu? dia x kesian P? dia x kesian F? dia bagi harapan tau. tp xpelh, since itu urusan mereka. yg pasti, sy x boleh tgk B coz m really mad. n i can't really smile as usual to F coz i know tango needs 2 person to dance. in conclusion, kalau rasa x mampu nk brtahan, tarik diri.  lama atau x, jgn jd alasan.  won't want to be with a person that doesn't love or appreciate me anymore.  yes, it will hurt,  i might have post-couple effect (asking ex to be bf again) or whatnot,  but i know i am strong, i have my family, n i can find new love.

Hadis riwayat Anas ra., ia berkata: Rasulullah saw. bersabda: Makan sahurlah kalian, karena pada makan sahur itu terdapat keberkahan. (Shahih Muslim No.1835)

when you played like you have no care, jumping here and there, running around chasing people, the result is really disastrous, you will become very hungry~~ really, really hungry.=.=' i felt like rolling on the floor, no sitting, and no walking. even to stand is too tiresome for me. + i missed my sahur, which is really regrettable, because sahur is really recommended by Rasulullah s.a.w. but knowing myself, alarm is never useful if i sleep too late or feels too tired. haha~ Mr. I scolded me and always send me a reminder to lock my alarm, but sorry, my dear. sleep is something too powerful for me to defeat. hahaha~ XD ok, i am kidding. i will try my hardest to wake up for sahur~ don't worry =)

veryyy sleepyyy. which leads to waking up late for sahur, which then leads to eating quaker oats just for sahur.  which is good but not that filling. now, feel the wrath =.=' dear me,  u promised to fill ramadhan with the best of ibadah, so, please do not procrastinate!! no sleeping late!! please cook anything first for sahur, or you'll end up eating quaker oats, again. m going home after gerko, despite the lateness, coz want to berbuka with the family, was hoping the car will be there, but i guess it's a no... hmm, xpelh, either balik naik motor or ktm. in sya Allah =) so, happy ramadhan al-kareem!! "may we become better muslims and may Allah bless us in this holy month of ramadhan." (Mdm. Aziah, 2013)

"may we become better muslims and may Allah bless us in this holy month of ramadhan." (Mdm. Aziah, 2013)

the last day. alhamdulillah, i learnt new things. marriage is not as easy as you think. but if both of you work together, in sya Allah, you can be happy. =) this second part covers these topics:  1. relationships in family  you have to know your mahrams and the wali. wali means the representatir / guardian of the women you seek to marry.  guys, you have to ask the permission from the wali.  usually, the wali is your mahram. mahram is someone you cannot marry.  if you want to know more about mahram, click on here 2. dissolving the marriage  this topic deals on how to dissolve your marriage.  you can't just dissolve your marriage easily. see here , if you want to know more. better yet, ask the ustaz 3. akhlaq  a person's attitude, manners and moral. if you want a good husband / wife, you have to be good yourself, like this Surah An-Nur, Ayah 26 الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ ۖ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلط

finally, another 3 / 4 more days, and the famous month, Ramadhan will be here. in sya Allah, this year,  i will make sure to fill in my ramadhan with productive activities. sure,  the classes will still continue as usual, there will still be extra co-curricular activities, but i will not make those as excuses as to not performing my terawikh.  and i will try my hardest to follow the picture below. in sya Allah~

okay, 1st day of the course. so nervous since i don't know what to expect.  this course is held for 2 days, today n tomorrow. around 100++ IPIK students took part.  most of them are seniors, luckily,  athie, puteri, weyn and many more from my cohort also took part. otherwise, i might freaked out. however, i want to make it clear.  my intention of going to this course is to be ready for the future. i am not saying that i want to get marry like this year or next year. i am not "gatal" or "gedik" or "gelojoh". i juz want to get ready. futhermore,  this course will be the last time for the old module, the pre-wedding course held outside will be using new module + the participants will have to do 50 questions, so, i got to escape the questions.  hahaha~ today's topics: 1. communications husband and wife must have good communication.  talk when there is problem.  do not raise your voice to your spouses. 

i am sorry, i make you worry, i break my promises, i make you mad, i offend you. truly, it is not my intention, not in the slightest. but i guess i had given you so many reasons, flimsy reasons, that over time,it just made you tired on hearing it instead of soothing your heart. i am sorry. you must feel tired right? i am sorry, you should be resting. not worrying about me. i am sorry...

to: TESLIAN IPIK, Happy 3rd Anniversary!!! being scolded by lecturers, being called as the worst cohort in TESL dept's history, having so many failures in almost every semester exam, those challenges never broke our spirit down, from 104 teslians -> 94 teslians, we made it semester by semester, we had encountered many problems, yet we are still here, may we be together for another 2 more years, and may we graduate together with all 94 of us. GO, TESLIAN COHORT 2!!

BIG for this sem requires all 179 of us to go to Sabak Bernam. the theme is to serve the people there. the original plan is to help plant the bakau trees during the Bakau Plantation Programme.  but since the haze is too thick, our head of BIG decided to let us go on a tour to the 5 different factory. my class got to go to the kerepek one. it was nice and we were able to buy kerepek to be brought back. unfortunately, camera is not allowed in the processing factory. so, i can't show any pictures here.  but it's ok.  i'll upload pictures during our stay there later.

weeee~ alhamdulillah, dipermudahkan Allah =) you see, actually during the holiday, my presario CQ-42 got injured. it can be turned on,  but.. the screen was black.  i can't see anything. so,  i started to research what happened. found out that there's only 2 reason  1. the screen 2. the chipset i cringed reading the price and how long it took to repair either problem, most charged RM 350++ and 2 weeks... but alhamdulillah, i found out about a computer shop at Low Yatt from a blog, Afif PLC . this blogger had been to this computer shop for the past 5 years, he said this shop is professional, trustworthy with a reasonable price. so, i decided to send my laptop there. the technician just took 10 minutes!!  which is amazing + the price is reasonable. the service is really ok, he answer my questions friendly. i think i will send my laptop for repairs here next time. thank you, Komputown Sales and Service!! you made my

1. 1st day of the 4th sem. which meanssss  the start of a NEW semester  which meanssss  NEW subjects n lecturers~  Buttttt, we get Mr. Mahadi!!! Wohooo~  Our cool dad is back! 2. Election for class committee. for the 2nd time, Syahmi won it anonymously.  Oh well, that happen when you are good~  Andddd when kiteorg mls nk tukar KK bru.  gahahaha~  so, congratulations, Syahmi!! ;-) 3. BIG is on 23rd - 25th of June oooh maiii,  bru msuk klas dh kne gnti kelas balik =.='  theme: khidmat masyarakat n alam sekitar  got to plant the paya bakau trees?? niceeee, leh maen cmpk tanah paya pd syg n athie.  muahahahahaha~ *evil grin 4. 25th - 26th of June Technology of Education event kami, G4.9 kne open a booth. Hmmm, i wonder how???  Xpe, let's wait for our KK, Syahmi (again :-D) to brief~ ~ in overall, boleh nmpk x betapa hecticnya sem ni??  but since every sem pun mcn tu,  let us find a time to hv fun~  Y???  coz having fun is

It's funny to hear atok's speech.  My atok is almost 75 years old, So, I cn always hear new unheard off Malay words.. Well, not unheard but old words,  nobody actually used it anymore. For example: 1. Meringkik: laughing like a donkey 2. Siba: couldn't remember what it is 3. Pokah: cut / broke into 2 4. Pohak: tersedak?? (couldn't remember too) 5. Berburas: berbuih Since the words are old ones n x prnh didengari, whenever she used the words, we (the cucu) will laugh~ Juz bcoz it sounds funny. I will remember these words well :-P

so exhausting.  konvokesyen graduan IPG, starting from 26th - 29th June. ada 6 sidang. sidang pagi (1, 3, 5)  sidang ptg (2, 4, 6). each sidang is for different courses example:  usually, sidang 1 (pagi) untuk kos TESL n BM, while sidang 2 (ptg, hari yg sama) untuk PK, so, each sidang adalah memenatkan.. sy, ahli KRS, kne buat kwln luar. kawalan luar as in jaga pintu masuk, guide parents and graduan, panggil graduan untuk berbaris bfore msuk hall. ha,ni jadual kami:  jgn kata kerja kami senang n kami ada masa nak lepak. 6.30 am: bergerak ke PICC 7.00 am: smpai PICC, siapkn dewan n susun papan penanda bg graduan 7.20: mula panggil graduan. 7.30 am: pergerakan msuk graduan, ahli akademik, ahli senat 8.00 am: pntu dewan ditutup, mjlis bermula, kawalan pintu bermula  (make sure no parent/ graduan keluar sesuka hati) 12.30 pm: mjlis hbes, kwln pintu, lunch, solat. 1.20 pm: pggil graduan sidang ptg,  1.30: graduan, ahli akademik, ahli

much!

alright, 4 paper done, only 1 left. 20 / 5 = KH  after dat, i'll be a half - free girl. hahaha~  why half - free,  bcoz i still hv a KRS work to do.  so, after that, bru boleh blek rumah. so, wish me luck!!

in sya Allah, next monday will mark the start of exam week, for this semester, it will be continuous, rather than a day gap in between exam subjects. 13 /05 = BCM  14 / 05 = TRV  15 / 05 = TLS, SP  20 / 05 = KH  so, please pray for my success >,<' i know that right now, i am not that smart or hardworking enough.  but in sya Allah, i will do my very best to enter the dean list. together with my other friends.  aminnnn~~~ =) to the others, who is having their exam or will be,  break both legs!! 

You can withhold words, but you can't silence the heart. And yours is screaming.  Yasmin Mogahed, April 19th, 2013  yes, i would say my heart is screaming right now. the reason (s) is/are unknown. i wish i can use words. but no. i would not use the words. i'd learnt that words can never soothe the hurting heart nor neither it will let the heart become how it use to be

today,  we conducted a workshop at SJK (C) Tai Thung. i won't lie and said it was a breeze. nope, ladies and gentleman. it wasn't a breeze and never will be. there are 60 of year 1 students, so, let see what we faced during the workshop. the challenges:  1. language barrier. their level of proficiency in english is low.  it is one thing to unable to use english or understand them,  it's another thing not to be able to use bm.  since my last resort to make them understand us (me n my group) is by using bm,  it just made it harder when they can't even use bm..  2. level of energy ya ampunnnn, they were very energetic.  they can't sit in one place.  really.  i felt like a shepherdess, at loss on how to control the sheeps =.=' . they would run away whenever there are chances.  they are literally all over the hall.  so, we had to chase them,  ask them to return to the group,  accompany them to the toilet,  prevent

lg 3 minggu nk exam, tp still x stdy lg. msih lg de klas. nk ulgkaji sndiri memg asyik mls je. hoii, cik adik. jangan nk malas - malas, pointer nk kne mntapkn lg. nnt x lpas intrview n posting coz pointer buruk >.< okay, maka kita kne mula buat ulangkaji. start dr malam ni jgk. janji pd diri sendiri.  cpt!! in sya Allah, JANJI akan study!! ok, good. dh jnji pd dirikn,  jd kne tunaikn. sbb tu amanah pd diri sndiri. so, berusahalah~

alhamdulillah, our BIG is done~~~ XD it ran smoothly, well except we were late for 15 mins, juz because we didn't know the route. gahahaha~ so, of coz we had to call for back up @ our lecturer, mr. Mahadi~ so, when we arrived, we ate breakfast n started the ice-breaking. u know, i, personally, was at lost. becoz this is my first time of being a facilitator, so, i don't quite know how to proceed with my group. but alhamdulillah, they started to loosen up during the treasure hunt. it was fun seeing them trying very hard in breaking the secret code, preparing for the talent show and many more. they gave all of us their full cooperation =) well, except for one thing. one of my anak buah decided to sneak away during the practice of the talent show. ok, granted i was the one who gave them to go and buy a drink at the canteen.. but that was because we were running around for treasure hunt n i am sure they were exhausted. so, when i realized she had gone for too

secara jujurnya, ada masa, aku terasa dengan kau. ada masa juga, aku sedih dibuat kau. dan makin menjadi rasa sedih yang semakin mendalam, bila aku tak mampu nak beritahu kau apa yang aku rasa. mungkin sebab aku rasa, tak adil untuk aku terasa atau sedih kerana kau, sebab aku pun pernah buat kau terasa dan sedih. mungkin purata aku buat kau lebih banyak dari kau buat aku sedih atau terasa. tak mengapalah. jiwa aku memang sakit agaknya. heh.

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.  For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.  Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.  94: 5,6

AT LAST!! NO MORE ASSIGNMENT !!!  woooooo~~ spe x gembira memg gilalah. hahaha~  naek cuti, memg pulun semua~~ BCM reflection SP part III  pergh, memg lega.  jom fokus exam plak. kali ni wat persediaan awal - awal,  n  mesti score tingi-tinggi. aminnnn, in sha Allah =)

to my dearest mr.i, WELCOME TO THE 21 CLUB!!! x pyh nk sangke muda sgt~ kita dh sme umur. hahaha~ XD my wishes to u: may Allah bless you, may you get whatever you wishes,  may you be happy, stay cute n cheeky, may you stay huggable ;P n  i wish all of those above for you, for every single seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years. so, be happy on this birthday of yours n have a blast =) p/s: nk nyanyi lagu happy birthday on the phone, but i changed my mind. heheh~ p/s/s: i adore you. you know how much <3

alhamdulillah,  PBS dh selesai. while tgh PBS,  3 assignment dh siap dihantar:  SP part II TLS part III (reflection)  TRV part III (reflection) tinggal another 3 assignment:  KH SP part III  BCM  in sya Allah,  akn diusahakan untuk siap mse cuti ni. *really?? oh well, go me~~  in the meantime,  jom enjoy holiday!! weeeeee~~

hari ni interview cikgu KH, y? untuk assignment KH pulak. we got to ask psl struktur organisasi,  pengurusan bengkel, pengurusan stok, bahan dan alatan, mcm mne cikgu uruskan PnP.. all sorts of things. kne ambik pictures jgk.  ni sume akan diletak dlm file. hooo~  nsib baeklah ada fara n izzat.. kalau sorg, memg x trbuatlh. hehehe~  hari ni relief class tahun 5 untuk waktu muzik, nk bg students men rekoder,  akn mengganggu kelas laen, jd bg dieorg exercises word search. semangat buat keje coz dh jnji dpt hadiah. hehehe~ children are sooo cute =)

alhamdulilllah, selesai PBS hari ke 3. btw,hari ni x de relief tp izzat n fara ada. hewhewhew~ XD xdelah, teman izzat g relief kelas. tp since just 30 min n the students de keje rumah, kiteorg juz pantau je. n alhamdulillah jgk, coz SP part II dh siap dihantar. berkejar wei nk siapkn bende ni. pewww~ so, let do assignment KH n SP part III plak. gambatte~~~

jd guru gnti for year 6C. memg sporting dieorg ni. x takut nk btulkn cikgu lg. kantoi btol cikgu x reti eja  "hippopotamus" dieorg komen, "cikgu, salah tu cikgu eja."  so,  tgk balik board  n bru sdr memg dh slh eja. dangggg, memalukan diri sungguh. =.='  haha~ futhermore,  ade student komen le me n my partner muka serupa mcm adik - beradik. gahahaha~ x naklah jd adik - beradik, tu calon husband tu~ XD sila note prkataan bold tu~ *wink

gara - gara takut jalan raya sesak, serta sesat, maka le me n partner keluar awal dr kwsn rumah, kul 6 am. yup,jam 6.00 pagi. tau x kul bpe kami smpai sekolah PBS kami? kul 6.19 am. oh maiiii, awai betolll. so, kami g breakfast dulu. kul 7 bru gerak g sekolah n lapor diri. jumpa 5 org lg students IPG lapor diri n berPBS di sekolah yg sama. pusing 1 sekolah ambik gmbr, sekolah ni quaint~ seriusly quaint. tp jumlah pelajar dia. amboiiii, 2400 org.  patutlah kelas ada 12 =.=' disebabkn saiz sekolah ni kecik. ada 2 sesi: pagi n ptg. sesi pg for yr 1,5 n 6. sesi ptg plak for yr 2,3 n 4. oh ye, lupe nk bgtau nama sekolah~ *drumroll tadaaaa~~~ sek keb setiawangsa sekolah berprestasi tinggi~ cuak btol mse dpt tau sks ni sekolah sbt. yelah, karang rosak nme dept n ipg if slh ajar students. tp alhamdulillah, sume pun ok je~ so, let's see how it will be for the next 4 days =)

alhamdulillah, KOT dh selesai, maju dpt second place =) krs dpt 3rd =)  tp.... acara hurdle dpt no 4 =(  acara faveret.. xpelah.. next year,  aku akn cuba dptkn pingat emas!! acara 4x400m, alhamdulillah dpt emas weyh!! x sia-sia aku x pkai kasut kt tgh panas. senior sume tnye aku serius ke x nk pkai kasut.  aku ckp x nk.  kn betul, bila kaki sakit, makin laju aku lari. x pikir psl penat pun.  hahaha~ alright,  now let us start fokus pd PBS plak. in case of emergency, ambik keta,  now task trbaru :  *drumroll practice bwk keta ahahahaha~  kantoi x reti bwk keta. bkn x reti,  kurg mahir. auto senang.  ni manual tahu~~~ in sya Allah, akn diusahakn~ 

weiii, pening kot. bnyk sgt bnde dlm kepala, smpai boleh trmimpi2. dlm minggu ni:  microteaching TLS, latihan kawad (5 hari @ isnin - jumaat)  saringan acara (x rse menang tahun ni)  lesson plan SP yg x terusik, pembetulan lesson plan TRV  reflection TRV  KOT  PBS oh mai, oh mai, again, bznye diri ku ini~  *bajet perasan, again x tau sama ada diri sndiri yg procrastinate or masa actually memg x cukup. but rasanya yg first tu. hahaha~ * nada sarkastik =______________________________='

alhamdulillah, dh selesai... 4 / 7 done~ tggl di bawah ni plak:  KH = 2 / 4 TRV part I SP part I  Hub Etnik = tinggl forum TLS part I TRV II = microteaching 7/3 SP part II TLS part II = 11 /3 tp sedihlhhhh, coz x dpt do the best.. boleh plak tergagap- gagap.. pegang part PALING penting pulak tu!!! sorry teammates... T.T  sedih memg x terkata.. xpelah, jomlah kita fokus pd assignment laen plak. usaha!!!!!

Kindness costs nothing. It comes from Allah, and should be returned to Allah through good deeds to people, animals, environment, the earth... and don't forget,  to spare kindness for yourself too,  you should be kind to you,  your body, mind and soul- they own the right to get close to Allah in any actions you do.  Intipati dari solusi isu terbaru-tentang menzalimi diri sendiri.  K. Dina Dinaso (2013)

yup, assignment again. kali ni giliran TLS @ teaching listening and speaking skills for young learners pula melabuhkn tirai, hahaha, berdrama plak. sooooo, 3 / 7 done~~ tggl di bawah ni plak:  KH  = 2 / 4 TRV part I SP part I  Hub Etnik = tinggl forum TLS part I TRV II = microteaching 7/3 SP part II kali ni, new addition to the family: TLS part II = 11 /3 so, marilah kita berusaha!! usaha dan terus usaha~~~ XD angin gila~

"maka nikmat Tuhanmu yg mnakah yg kamu dustakan?"

Alhamdulillah,  SP dh dihantr.  2 / 6 done~~ KH  = 2 / 4 TRV part I SP part I  Hub Etnik = tinggl forum TLS part I TRV II = microteaching 7/3 dh hntr yg SP, x brmakna dh free ye, ada 4 assignment len, dpt assignment bru pulakk~~ SP part II. xpe, kita fokus TLS plak~  chaiyokkkk~~

dialog btween kami: e: oh, pe yg kita kne buat? a: ntah, blur. miss g kata apa? c: kne kaitkn curriculum specs, cth activity and explaination. a: specs? specs mata? y specs mata? apa kaitan? e: =.=' (buat muka) a: i'm blur!!! m: a dh gila. e, tlg dia. e: ok~ jom, a. kita ..... c. m: jom~ c: NO!!!!!!!

sem 3 dh mula hectic~~ tutorials, assignments, KOT, PBS, BIG~ tutorials every week ada, jd dh lali. assignments pula dh dpt 6 out of 7. KOT is on March 16th, PBS is from 18th - 22th March. BIG is on April. oh mai, penuh schedule i~  bajet busy sgt. haha~ yesterday, dh hntr TRV @ Teaching reading skills and vocabulary for young learners. so, 1 / 6 assignments dh settle. KH  = 2 / 4 TRV part I SP part I  Hub Etnik = tinggl forum TLS part I TRV II = microteaching 7/3 since this coming tuesday is the due date of SP @ Songs and Poetry for young learners pula. maka,  me n my partner sedang brtungkus - lumus menyiapkn kerja yg diberi. hai, partner!!! hahaha~ alhamdulillah, our songs and poetry were accepted. tggl kne wat justification plak. so, let's do our best for SP, ok!! GAMBATTE~~~~ ahhh,  happy 22th birthday to our KK, Syahmi~ seronokkn kne prank beli kek birthday sndiri? hahaha~ semoga Syahmi pnjg umur, murah rezek

happy birthday to me n Leona, may God bless us in everything~ =) 

hari ni ada surprise party kt rumah, party yg memg x dirancang tp menjadi.  haha~  memg trkejutlh. bygkn tetibe kek muncul dpn mata, siapa x trkejut.  trus lari nyorok kt dapur.  aduh, memg malu sgt mse tu.  haha~  thanx for da surprise party, the cake,  the presents,  the wishes~ but most of all, to my parents, thank you  for giving birth to me, for taking care of me, for giving me things i want, for educating me, for giving me happiness, n lastly,  for loving me.

Alhamdulillah,  selesai dh wedding K. Ita n A. Dafi, the first wedding in da family for 2013. insyaAllah,  akn ada 1 / 2 lg wedding untuk tahun ni. tarikh n siapa msih tdk diketahui. so tungguuuuuuu hahaha~

you make me mad, but you make me happy too. you make me sad, but whenever you wink, smile, being cheeky, protective, makes me feel safe, and every other thing that you do, you make me smile too.. i'm hurt but i forgot i hurt you too, i'm mad but i forgot i make you mad too, i'm sorry for breaking my promises, i'm sorry for everything. n lastly, i forgot you are your own self , just like i am my own self too. so, i respect you and your decision. but please remember this: i choose you.. because i really love you. not because i was forced too n i wont let you go.