bicara dari hati

Christmas this year was marked by atiq's wedding.  she's my primary school friend and also my colleague mate, so, it can be considered as special although some of my primary school friends had wed long before her.  but it's special because she's one of my close friends and like me, she's only 22 years old.  which is considered too early for me.. andd she married her own classmates, uciss!! when i knew, i teased her. a lot.  because i used to match her with uciss but they said 'noooooo!!' look, my words did come true.  hahahahaha~ ah well, no more atiq in our midst for raya convoy, no more hanging out at the night marker, or just in front of our house to gossip or whatnot.  she's a married friend and she has to prioritize well.. however, this raised on questions inside me.. 1. why did she decided to marry early? 2. is she really prepared to become a wife, a daughter in law, a student and probably a mother? 3. will she be...

in Malay, kayu manis means cinnamon stick. however, in my family, kayu manis is the name of our 2-month-old African Pygmy hedgehog. yes, her name is kayu manis @ cinnamon stick. hahaha ;P it's probably because she's a salt and peper with a hint of brown.  so, the first name that comes in mind is kayu manis.  ayah bought her from MAHA with Nani. ( Malaysian Agriculture, Horticulture & Agrotourism Show) MAHA is a place where people from all over Malaysia comes to promote their business and others to come, see and buy things.  so this is where ayah bought her. they even bought the complete set: the cage, the food, the water bottle and the bedding. although, only after i explained it they understood that hedgehog is not suitable with wood bedding,  so i had to buy cat's paper bedding. i think they were influenced from Mr. I's hedgehog, Sonic. well, once or twice i had to bring and take care of Sonic during the holidays.. becaus...

from our own class n batch!! wooooo~  bcoz this is the first one,  everyone decided to go. hahaha~ but in the end, few couldn't make it. but it's ok! coz we had fun!! though actually we knew about the marriage for 3 years,  the ceremony was only done today.  i guess they decided to wait till everything stabilized.  so, congratulations to both Syahmi and Syahirah. may Allah bless your marriage till jannah.  aminnnn~ hmmm, i wonder who next?  hahaha~~ btw, we started the journey at 8.40 am (i think) arrived at temerloh around 10. ++a.m, we went to visit Mohan for deepavali. my car arrived first, followed yus' and then shakir's.  mind you, there were 13 of us. haha~  but, mohan's mom cooked a very nice mee hoon n served tea n milk tea to us, so that's bfast for us. hahhaa~ so, thank you mohan n family for the bfast~ then around 12.00, we took some pictures n then started journey to majlis syahmi...

That is a biggggg fattttt lieeeeee Seriously people, think well before you ever choose to be a teacher. Nooopeeeeee, If you have the passion, and the patience, Then go for it. But I would say 40% passion and 60% of patience are required. No kidding people. I love the kids, I seriously do BUTTTT they can drive you up the wallll!!!! When I first entered the system, I seriously thought I would be teaching the secondary school. Little did I know that I was actually entering the primary school programme. OH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???? T_T Never mind, I’ll strive and do better. One year and I’ll be a teacher!! Well, that’s a nice thought. Maybe. Watch out kids, I am no ordinary miss. Me being the oldest of 6 has given me enough time to practice my voice projection and my glare. Beware or you’ll suffer!!! muahahahahahaha* evil laugh 

well, i know i haven't write in such a long time, trust me,  i have thousand things i wanna write about, it's juz that i am tooo lazy. hahaha~ fyi, i am doing my phase 2 practicum in a school at Setapak.  it had been 4 weeks, but like i said, wayyyy toooo lazyyyy to write,  so sorryyyy~ i wanna share about this one boy, he's 10 years old, which in Malaysian education system would meant year 4 @ grade 4, he is very cute but very cheeky tooo. ok, i think this "freaky occurrences" started during a raya celebration at this school, he asked me for selfies so many times, so, i accommodated him just to avoid from him bugging me,  but nowadays,  whenever he comes into the staffroom, he would do a detour to my table,  said "Miss ni cutelah" @ "Miss is cutelah",  then continue his way to the destination. and i was like "whateheck is the problem with this boy? =_=" then, when he saw my practicum partner, ...

alright,  let's discuss.  opposites attracts, but opposites attacks too.  so, let see, we are way too stubborn to let each other go, but we are way too harsh on each other too.  i wouldn't want you to change, and i don't want to change.  all i want is,  to listen when i talk, talk when i am silent, don't ask when i am silent, i will tell you about it later.  just ignore my mutterings cause mutterings is how i organize my thoughts plus, you wouldn't want to know what i mutters.  (well, probably because it can be about killing other people or may also be about killing you) when you advises me,  please remember that i may act like i won't listen to it or grumbles a lot,  but actually i did and sometimes i will still follow it.  when i make a decision based on your advices, don't ask me about it again, that makes me mad.  don't bring up past arguments, i hate past arguments please scold me gen...

Alhamdulillah,  today's paper marked the end of the daunting semester 5!!  Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. it's amazing when you started the year off with worries about practicum and what not,  but today,  you juz realized that you had survived everything Allah, life and campus had given to you.  oh wow,  this meant i only have another 3 semester left.  1 year and a half.  wow.. that's... amazing and also scary.. how time flies.  anyway,  right now, i want to enjoy the sleep that i am deprived of..  daa~~ =)

due to the changing weather in one day: e.g: morning is sunny, but evening is rainy i caught the complete set of flu: sore throat, cough, fever n flu. yep, the complete set. now, let it be known, that i rarely get sick, erm, not trying to brag, but it is just a gift Allah give to me. however, i am more prone to small cuts or bruise. but i guess these harsh weathers must have caught up with me. never mind, i remembered a saying that "being sick is a kifarah for your sins and shows that Allah remember you." meaning that me being sick will clear my small sins and that it is the way for Allah to tell me that i am still under the blessing. well, i am ok with being sick, juz wasn't happy with the melancholy feeling that comes with it. dunno why, but yesterday night, i cried on the phone, calling my mom, saying i wanted to go home. well, ibu being ibu, had to pujuk me, saying that i had class, therefore, wait till i am a bit ok.  i can't drive n ayah defi...

wow, how long i haven't post here? ntah, even i am not sure myself. there's plethora of things in my head, for me to write in this blog, but trying to find the words and time is too time consuming. hahaha, no, that's a lie. i was so lazyyyy, that i choose to form the words only in my head. heee XD i am so sorry~ i promise, i will do my best to write again~ so, please.. don't stop reading this =)

is Tuesday, april 8th, 2014. 2nd day of the 2nd week of practicum week. at the moment, i am in the staffroom, relaxing for a while,  with a feeling that my throat is sore after trying to do a sketsa practice.  just got to know yesterday,  meaning only 2 days of practice.  lucky me,  got 4 bestari which is my own practicum class.  at 11. 50 till 12.50,  gotta move to 2 cemerlang,  for 1 h relief class.  hoping they would cooperate.  hmmm, what should i play?  maybe 'i spy'.  the reality set in yesterday, at how good my pupils of 4 bestari fooled the lecturer by behaving well.  had a very hard time controlling them,  making me raised my voice over few times =.='.  plus the sleepless night,  trying to create a cohesive and achievable lesson plan.  but yeah,  this is time to practice.  never mind, i'll fight as long as i can.  ohhh, now i...

wohoooo~ happy birthday to Mr. I~ 22nd kan? no use turning the numbers around~ it will still be 22~ hahahaha~ so, juz accept it will ya, you are OLD , therefore try to accept it when people always mistaken you as the older one, not me~ hehehe~ this year, may Allah continue to bless you, in everything you do, everywhere you are, everyday of your life~  ich liebe dich =)

just now i received a call from ayah, saying that adik's house was ransacked. the thief (thieves) searched everywhere in the house, the closets, cupboards and the drawers. she and her housemates lost quite a lot of valuables.. laptops, moneys, ATM cards, anything they deemed valuable, as for adik,  she lost her ATM card (malaysian use), IC, phone, laptop we, the family doen't mind much for the materials taken,  but we are concerned about the I.C, without the I.C, adik couldn't go and do the Umrah.. Ya Allah,  this is truly a trying time for us.. but we are not whining or feels dejected, we know you are giving us this tests to see if we can pass it  before we are going to be the visitors of the Holy land, but Allah,  please give us strength to pass this test..  aminn...

salam, this is from the bottom of my heart, as a young adult of 22, holding the responsibilities of another 4 younger siblings is something heavy. yes, i do know there are people out there who had the same responsibility far younger than my age, but truth be told, i know i can do it but i am not sure if i can go on with it. adding on with the missing MH370 case, juz gives me more reason of telling my parent not to go.. but how could i do it, this is something they have been dreaming since i was young enough to understand the meaning of doing umrah or hajj.. i am sorry, as much as i know it is going to be ok,  this worry isn't something i could shed. how could i take care of my siblings, all below 17 and the youngest is 7? i know that i should stop worrying because i can't do anything. but knowing the fact doesn't make me worry any less. even now, i am trying to be brave, trying to let them go, trying not to cry, trying not to be scared...

juz now,  i renewed my license for 2 year.  from 2014 till 2016. do u know how long i had been driving without my license to and fro school?  since my birthday, which was 20 days ago.  i even managed to go home twice in the state of license-less haha, new word there this is my experience regarding renewing the license,  it seemed that JPJ @ Jab Pengangkutan Jalan @ M'sian Road Transport Dept had new procedure in regards to the picture used, we are required to use picture with white background. i didn't know about this  and only after almost 2 our waiting for my turn 3pm - 4.45 pm i got to know =.=' really?  i was sooo afraid that i am going to be turned down, i was probably doing my puppy eyes there but,  praise to Allah,  the officer there decided to juz ignore the blue background of my picture, probably out of pity and because there are still many people waiting for the turn, and continue process...

thank you for tweeting  PANDAI TAPI BIADAP. you made me realize, that everyone was thinking the same about me, but only you had the guts to say that to me.  even to the extend of calling me to explain it to me.  really, thank you.  I am not denying that i was rude. or even justifying anything. but i would love to clarify that what i did juz now was way polite than my USUAL RUDENESS.  so, yeah.  that's it.  next time, i will juz stay and dont present anymore.  no need for people to be offended by my rudeness. plus,  saya kan susah ditegur.  so, no need to waste your time on me.  goodbye. 

yes,  today is my 22nd birthday. i received lots of best wishes, presents, kisses, hugs n many more thank you for all of you who wished me. i am really grateful.  really, really grateful. i would like to say thank you, to my parents n siblings...  thank you for loving, smiling, crying, laughing and putting up with me...  Allah knows how much i love all of you.  i would like to say  thank you to mr. i, for taking care of me Allah knows how hard you had to put up with me~ thank you.. to my friends,  thank you for being there, being friends with me.  for your kindness, smiles, advises and everything.  may Allah bless everyone of you =)

this is a lesson i learnt, one day,  my sister whatsapp me a link, asking me to check it out.  so, i did.  it turned out an fb page selling t-shirt, the famous RunningMan t-shirt. she asked me to order the t-shirt for her friends and her too so, i did.  in fact, i intended to make the t-shirt as her birthday presents. before the payment, i did called the person in charge, En. Faizal a few times. confirming about whether the promotion is still on, the prices and whatnot, he said, the t-shirt would be arrived on 1st Jan 2014 hearing that, i consulted with my sister and she said yes.  so, on 17th Feb 2013,  i made last confirmation from my sister, bank- in the money, filled up the form and send the sms confirming that i ordered 17 pieces. costing RM510.  however, promise was just a promise. to this exact date (10 Feb), i still didn't receive any t-shirts. i tried calling so many times, but the calls were ...

okay, this is one topic that is quite dear to me.  first of all, i am going to explain.  in my context of 'touching', it doesn't mean physical contacts. it actually means feeling offended / insulted by someone else's words / actions  now, let's get back to the topic.  right now,  i have a severe case of being 'touching' whoever, wherever, whatever it is, it has like 50% chances of 'touching' me.  especially if it comes to someone i hold dear.  let's blame it to that time of the month.  i can actually use scientific approach @ hormonal imbalance for my state of being depressed, buttttttt that... would be a lie.  a big fat lie.  juz like the other half of me said,  " hormonal imbalance should not be a reason for you to be ***** " (mr. i, 2014) *pardon my language but yeah, u should be able to catch my drift seriously, i don't really know the exact way to express things.  it's either bottle...

hi!!  this is a topic i found interesting, well,  to me at least.  when my heart wants something,  i or rather my mouth has this habit of asking it from my father or my mother or mr. i. but when they (as in father / mother /  mr. i) can't afford it,  i will sulk.  then it's up to them how to pujuk me.  usually using ice - cream. hehehe~  one day,  i decided to ask mr. i bout his feelings when i asked for things he couldn't buy for me, he said ( rephrased)  "i feels burdened.  and also hurts seeing i can't give you what you want. not to mention i felt challenged. "  i was shocked.  (o.O) really??? i never knew this!! well, maybe i did but choose to ignore this. just to see how he will react. so, nowadays i tried to held it in and try to buy anything i want by myself.   of course, sometimes i do blurts out what i want but i wouldn't be serious about it.  because i...

hi all~ last friday was a holiday, so ayah decided to visit atok at Pontian. along the way, we stopped at ledang waterfall. hehe~  my other family members were so excited.  esp fawwaz when he knew we are going to the waterfall, he wore his swimming shorts n packed his own clothes. though ibu checked his packed clothes to make sure he didn't bring something torn or senteng.  we arrived there around 2.54ish. that's because ayah n the boys had to solat jumaat. fawwaz and amri were so excited when we reached the waterfall, they left us (ibu, ayah, fizi, nani n me) behind.  duhhh =.='  we were lucky coz our spot wasn't taken.  so, after putting the changes down,  they went to swim.  however, ayah had another idea. you see, at 4 am, he woke up and marinate a section (not sure the correct term) of a lamb. yup, people, 4 am.  it seemed he wanted to make kambing bakar there. he eve brought the charcoals, th...

before this,  i was a young girl with not so much worry on her.  all i think about are:  1. scoring my studies  2. being a good daughter and sisters 3. be happy  4. have fun  5. consequences of my choices so, my so-called burden wasn't that much.  but now, i am 22 years old.  i am renting a house with 4 more friends,  i have a car, and only now i started to think more and understand about my responsibilities.  y?  because only now, i understand how hard it is for me to just spend my money without thinking about expenses.  i have to find enough money for the rents, the bills, the maintenance, foods and many more. and thinking all this makes me respect my parents. it's a wonder, really!  i only need to think about myself, but my parents, they have to provide for 6 of us, which are still schooling, and at the same time, pays for the bills. sometimes,  i am envious wi...

Salam,  jus got back from Klang. attended my cuzin's engagement day. she's the 2nd cuzin that got engaged this year. the first one was Abg Farid.  well, if abg farid is a long-waited event, Jie's is a quite shocking and spontaneous one.  y? because she's my age n she surpassed her own brother, a. afiq n few older cuzins.  but still, congratulations, Jie.  you are sooooo pretty yesterday. i couldn't it was you.  even adiq doesn't believe you are engaged.  hahaha~ however, the downside of attending this kind of wedding is that the aunts and uncles kept on:  1. asking when is my turn? my answer is to wait for another 5 year? or maybe 7? hahaha~ 2. what colour is your engagement day?  my answer:  i haven't really thought about it but i prefer to just skip the engagement n straight do the akad nikah. but well, i still have to discuss this with the would-be groom.  3. when are we (the familie...