bicara dari hati

wohoooo~ happy birthday to Mr. I~ 22nd kan? no use turning the numbers around~ it will still be 22~ hahahaha~ so, juz accept it will ya, you are OLD , therefore try to accept it when people always mistaken you as the older one, not me~ hehehe~ this year, may Allah continue to bless you, in everything you do, everywhere you are, everyday of your life~  ich liebe dich =)

just now i received a call from ayah, saying that adik's house was ransacked. the thief (thieves) searched everywhere in the house, the closets, cupboards and the drawers. she and her housemates lost quite a lot of valuables.. laptops, moneys, ATM cards, anything they deemed valuable, as for adik,  she lost her ATM card (malaysian use), IC, phone, laptop we, the family doen't mind much for the materials taken,  but we are concerned about the I.C, without the I.C, adik couldn't go and do the Umrah.. Ya Allah,  this is truly a trying time for us.. but we are not whining or feels dejected, we know you are giving us this tests to see if we can pass it  before we are going to be the visitors of the Holy land, but Allah,  please give us strength to pass this test..  aminn...

salam, this is from the bottom of my heart, as a young adult of 22, holding the responsibilities of another 4 younger siblings is something heavy. yes, i do know there are people out there who had the same responsibility far younger than my age, but truth be told, i know i can do it but i am not sure if i can go on with it. adding on with the missing MH370 case, juz gives me more reason of telling my parent not to go.. but how could i do it, this is something they have been dreaming since i was young enough to understand the meaning of doing umrah or hajj.. i am sorry, as much as i know it is going to be ok,  this worry isn't something i could shed. how could i take care of my siblings, all below 17 and the youngest is 7? i know that i should stop worrying because i can't do anything. but knowing the fact doesn't make me worry any less. even now, i am trying to be brave, trying to let them go, trying not to cry, trying not to be scared...

juz now,  i renewed my license for 2 year.  from 2014 till 2016. do u know how long i had been driving without my license to and fro school?  since my birthday, which was 20 days ago.  i even managed to go home twice in the state of license-less haha, new word there this is my experience regarding renewing the license,  it seemed that JPJ @ Jab Pengangkutan Jalan @ M'sian Road Transport Dept had new procedure in regards to the picture used, we are required to use picture with white background. i didn't know about this  and only after almost 2 our waiting for my turn 3pm - 4.45 pm i got to know =.=' really?  i was sooo afraid that i am going to be turned down, i was probably doing my puppy eyes there but,  praise to Allah,  the officer there decided to juz ignore the blue background of my picture, probably out of pity and because there are still many people waiting for the turn, and continue process...

thank you for tweeting  PANDAI TAPI BIADAP. you made me realize, that everyone was thinking the same about me, but only you had the guts to say that to me.  even to the extend of calling me to explain it to me.  really, thank you.  I am not denying that i was rude. or even justifying anything. but i would love to clarify that what i did juz now was way polite than my USUAL RUDENESS.  so, yeah.  that's it.  next time, i will juz stay and dont present anymore.  no need for people to be offended by my rudeness. plus,  saya kan susah ditegur.  so, no need to waste your time on me.  goodbye. 

yes,  today is my 22nd birthday. i received lots of best wishes, presents, kisses, hugs n many more thank you for all of you who wished me. i am really grateful.  really, really grateful. i would like to say thank you, to my parents n siblings...  thank you for loving, smiling, crying, laughing and putting up with me...  Allah knows how much i love all of you.  i would like to say  thank you to mr. i, for taking care of me Allah knows how hard you had to put up with me~ thank you.. to my friends,  thank you for being there, being friends with me.  for your kindness, smiles, advises and everything.  may Allah bless everyone of you =)

this is a lesson i learnt, one day,  my sister whatsapp me a link, asking me to check it out.  so, i did.  it turned out an fb page selling t-shirt, the famous RunningMan t-shirt. she asked me to order the t-shirt for her friends and her too so, i did.  in fact, i intended to make the t-shirt as her birthday presents. before the payment, i did called the person in charge, En. Faizal a few times. confirming about whether the promotion is still on, the prices and whatnot, he said, the t-shirt would be arrived on 1st Jan 2014 hearing that, i consulted with my sister and she said yes.  so, on 17th Feb 2013,  i made last confirmation from my sister, bank- in the money, filled up the form and send the sms confirming that i ordered 17 pieces. costing RM510.  however, promise was just a promise. to this exact date (10 Feb), i still didn't receive any t-shirts. i tried calling so many times, but the calls were ...

okay, this is one topic that is quite dear to me.  first of all, i am going to explain.  in my context of 'touching', it doesn't mean physical contacts. it actually means feeling offended / insulted by someone else's words / actions  now, let's get back to the topic.  right now,  i have a severe case of being 'touching' whoever, wherever, whatever it is, it has like 50% chances of 'touching' me.  especially if it comes to someone i hold dear.  let's blame it to that time of the month.  i can actually use scientific approach @ hormonal imbalance for my state of being depressed, buttttttt that... would be a lie.  a big fat lie.  juz like the other half of me said,  " hormonal imbalance should not be a reason for you to be ***** " (mr. i, 2014) *pardon my language but yeah, u should be able to catch my drift seriously, i don't really know the exact way to express things.  it's either bottle...

hi!!  this is a topic i found interesting, well,  to me at least.  when my heart wants something,  i or rather my mouth has this habit of asking it from my father or my mother or mr. i. but when they (as in father / mother /  mr. i) can't afford it,  i will sulk.  then it's up to them how to pujuk me.  usually using ice - cream. hehehe~  one day,  i decided to ask mr. i bout his feelings when i asked for things he couldn't buy for me, he said ( rephrased)  "i feels burdened.  and also hurts seeing i can't give you what you want. not to mention i felt challenged. "  i was shocked.  (o.O) really??? i never knew this!! well, maybe i did but choose to ignore this. just to see how he will react. so, nowadays i tried to held it in and try to buy anything i want by myself.   of course, sometimes i do blurts out what i want but i wouldn't be serious about it.  because i...

hi all~ last friday was a holiday, so ayah decided to visit atok at Pontian. along the way, we stopped at ledang waterfall. hehe~  my other family members were so excited.  esp fawwaz when he knew we are going to the waterfall, he wore his swimming shorts n packed his own clothes. though ibu checked his packed clothes to make sure he didn't bring something torn or senteng.  we arrived there around 2.54ish. that's because ayah n the boys had to solat jumaat. fawwaz and amri were so excited when we reached the waterfall, they left us (ibu, ayah, fizi, nani n me) behind.  duhhh =.='  we were lucky coz our spot wasn't taken.  so, after putting the changes down,  they went to swim.  however, ayah had another idea. you see, at 4 am, he woke up and marinate a section (not sure the correct term) of a lamb. yup, people, 4 am.  it seemed he wanted to make kambing bakar there. he eve brought the charcoals, th...

before this,  i was a young girl with not so much worry on her.  all i think about are:  1. scoring my studies  2. being a good daughter and sisters 3. be happy  4. have fun  5. consequences of my choices so, my so-called burden wasn't that much.  but now, i am 22 years old.  i am renting a house with 4 more friends,  i have a car, and only now i started to think more and understand about my responsibilities.  y?  because only now, i understand how hard it is for me to just spend my money without thinking about expenses.  i have to find enough money for the rents, the bills, the maintenance, foods and many more. and thinking all this makes me respect my parents. it's a wonder, really!  i only need to think about myself, but my parents, they have to provide for 6 of us, which are still schooling, and at the same time, pays for the bills. sometimes,  i am envious wi...

Salam,  jus got back from Klang. attended my cuzin's engagement day. she's the 2nd cuzin that got engaged this year. the first one was Abg Farid.  well, if abg farid is a long-waited event, Jie's is a quite shocking and spontaneous one.  y? because she's my age n she surpassed her own brother, a. afiq n few older cuzins.  but still, congratulations, Jie.  you are sooooo pretty yesterday. i couldn't it was you.  even adiq doesn't believe you are engaged.  hahaha~ however, the downside of attending this kind of wedding is that the aunts and uncles kept on:  1. asking when is my turn? my answer is to wait for another 5 year? or maybe 7? hahaha~ 2. what colour is your engagement day?  my answer:  i haven't really thought about it but i prefer to just skip the engagement n straight do the akad nikah. but well, i still have to discuss this with the would-be groom.  3. when are we (the familie...

kau dah mati. kau dah mati.  kau dah mati. selama aku marah dengan orang, aku masih lagi x pernah anggap orang tu mati. paling kurang pun, aku anggap orang tu x wujud. tapi now, bila aku sebut macam tu, kau memang dah mati dari dalam diari aku.  aku mungkin kena jumpa kau tapi kau tak ada apa - apa pun dengan aku.  sampai hati terbuka. itu pun, kalau hati aku terbuka.  so, yeah.  YOU DIED TODAY.

I just realised that I am still not ready. 3 years had gone by but I am still not ready. This scares me. I had always dreamed of doing this. I am convinced that I can do it. But now, I don't know. It scares me on how much the future depends on me, us. I am scared that I could not touch them. Or they don't understand what I taught. Or I couldn't inspire them. But right now, I am struggling, really struggling . Really.

welcome back, dear!! thanx for da presents =) I love it~ <3

right now, i am very much afraid. afraid that we will drift apart. what happen while i was away? can't you tell me whatever it is bothering you? can't you tell me what it is you want? we can talk. i am here. always here. but what had happened till it turn this way? please talk. you are still young. and you are still my family despite everything i said. i love you.. talk..  please...

ehem, pergi melancong tu, jgn lpe belikn something untuk sy~ kesiannnnn sy~ kne tinggal sorg kt sini. diulangi, siannnnnnn syyyy~~ *pnjg 3 harkat  hahaha~ x delah,  jz kidding. juz be careful, take care, paling pnting, jaga mata dan hati tu. tkut tertinggal kt sana, ada yg kne langkau laut china selatan untuk ambik balik yg trtinggal tu~ ;P

today marks the start of holidays~ though i have already started the holidays on monday~ *evil smirk so,  lovely people, please take care n stay safe during this school hols, enjoy your holidays, but make sure to fill it with memorable and useful projects. examples: learn to:  cook bake sew gardening cultivate good habits volunteering  youth camp basically anything that will give you new and useful experiences. as for me, i decided to improve my cooking and sewing skills.  plus, practice being a teacher to my siblings. muahaha~ *evil smirk juz kidding, i want to be ready. becoz next sem,  we will start our practicum, and my mentor is a meticulous person that i have had a chance working with. so i wanted to make sure i am ready for it.  but that's another story. for now, let's relax and enjoy our holiday =)

=.= what happened just now was i felt like i was sucked into the world of unknown. really, no kidding. the questions were not normal. they were mutant. mutant questions!! runnnnn for your life!!! * please imagine questions with arms and legs chasing u~ oh well, no use talking bout it. let us worry for the next ones~ writing, please be nice ;)

asmaul husna is also known as names of Allah there are 99 names each with their own meaning and benefits if you recite them hope you can benefit from them~ 1. Ar - Rahman  The All - Merciful  repeat this name 100 times after each fardu (Obligatory) prayer will have good memory, a keen awareness, and be free of a heavy heart. 2. Ar - Rahim The All - Beneficient repeat this name 100 times after each Fajr (Early Morning) prayer will find everyone to be friendly towards him and he will be safe from all worldly calamities. 3. Al-Malik The Absolute Ruler  repeats this name many times every day after the morning prayer. Will become rich by the grace of Allah. 4. Al-Quddus The Pure One The heart of those who repeat this name 100 times each day will be free from anxiety. 5. As-Salam The Source of Peace He who repeats this name 160 time to a sick person, will help him to regain health. He who repeats this name frequently will be sa...