happy mother's day, ibu! (and to ayah too)
Hi, it's Mother's day! this year, i am not at home, so i didn't do or plan anything special for ibu. Probably because for me, everyday is mother's or father's or siblings' day. So, everyday is a special day. Yeah, yeah, i know, cliche. But it is true. Plus, i wouldn't be able to say anything coz i would be to choke up and ended up crying, which is what i hate. So, yeah.
Growing up, i spent 5 years at a boarding school, Johor. This made me felt closer to friends rather than my own family because i spent more time there than at my own house. Despite that, we still remained a close knitted family.
However, living at a boarding school taught me a lot. One of them is to appreciate my family. When i was 5-12 years old, i was actually (still is) a rebellious child. When i felt slighted, wronged or insulted, i would argue about it till i felt satisfied. I can and would argue with older people, using my loud voice, which is considered rude in Malay custom. And in Malay custom, it showed my upbringing, which meant my parent had failed. Rudeness is not tolerated in my family, so i was always being punished for this matter. At that age, i remembered how I hate living with my parents and wished i can live somewhere else.
My wish was granted and i went to the boarding school. There, i learned a lot such as toning down and control my rebellious and rude side. I learned to consider things from different perspectives and I definitely learned to understand my parents and i learned to see their love in everything they did as we were never the kind of family to say "I love you".
I remembered crying my second week at the borading school. I cried for how tough it was living with the seniors, bullying, different friends, different ways of thinking and how i wanted to get out of there. I guessed my cryings worried my mother until she had to ask her sister (my aunt) who lived at Johor to visit me. My aunt made me realized on how proud my mom when i entered the boarding school and how worried she was when i kept calling home, crying. Knowing this, i made a resolve not to worry my mother incessantly. Until now, i think i made a good job of keeping my resolve.
I remembered in another instance when my parents went to perform their umrah. She ( my mother) actually apologized to me for not being able to take all 5 of us (she and dad only brought my grandma and my sister, who was actually studying at cairo, which is closer and cheaper)to perform the umrah. She said she believed in me and my ability to take care of my other siblings. Oh.. how i cried reading that.. And taking care of my siblings made me realized how my parents struggle to take care and love all 6 of us. This made me appreciate them more.
But i guessed i won't be able to understand my mom's feelings until i become a mother myself. So for now, i can only pray to Allah that my parent will be blessed and put into Jannah for every single things they did for us, for every single prayer they sent for us and definitely for every single love they poured to us. Thank you, ibu and ayah. I love both of you..
Growing up, i spent 5 years at a boarding school, Johor. This made me felt closer to friends rather than my own family because i spent more time there than at my own house. Despite that, we still remained a close knitted family.
However, living at a boarding school taught me a lot. One of them is to appreciate my family. When i was 5-12 years old, i was actually (still is) a rebellious child. When i felt slighted, wronged or insulted, i would argue about it till i felt satisfied. I can and would argue with older people, using my loud voice, which is considered rude in Malay custom. And in Malay custom, it showed my upbringing, which meant my parent had failed. Rudeness is not tolerated in my family, so i was always being punished for this matter. At that age, i remembered how I hate living with my parents and wished i can live somewhere else.
My wish was granted and i went to the boarding school. There, i learned a lot such as toning down and control my rebellious and rude side. I learned to consider things from different perspectives and I definitely learned to understand my parents and i learned to see their love in everything they did as we were never the kind of family to say "I love you".
I remembered crying my second week at the borading school. I cried for how tough it was living with the seniors, bullying, different friends, different ways of thinking and how i wanted to get out of there. I guessed my cryings worried my mother until she had to ask her sister (my aunt) who lived at Johor to visit me. My aunt made me realized on how proud my mom when i entered the boarding school and how worried she was when i kept calling home, crying. Knowing this, i made a resolve not to worry my mother incessantly. Until now, i think i made a good job of keeping my resolve.
I remembered in another instance when my parents went to perform their umrah. She ( my mother) actually apologized to me for not being able to take all 5 of us (she and dad only brought my grandma and my sister, who was actually studying at cairo, which is closer and cheaper)to perform the umrah. She said she believed in me and my ability to take care of my other siblings. Oh.. how i cried reading that.. And taking care of my siblings made me realized how my parents struggle to take care and love all 6 of us. This made me appreciate them more.
But i guessed i won't be able to understand my mom's feelings until i become a mother myself. So for now, i can only pray to Allah that my parent will be blessed and put into Jannah for every single things they did for us, for every single prayer they sent for us and definitely for every single love they poured to us. Thank you, ibu and ayah. I love both of you..
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